Halloween Yard Decor: A Seadog Cemetery

One of the great things about buying our Condo is that Husband and I finally have a porch and yard of our very own to decorate for the holidays. The first year we decided to decorate for Halloween, we opened a bottle of wine and after a glass or so, decided “Hey - let’s put out the Halloween decorations!” This is what we came up with. A Seadog Cemetery. Granted it's a small cemetary. We confined it to our flower beds so we wouldn't have to deal with the HOA's lawn service mowing over our holiday decorations.

This is Captain Twiggy. He’s the guy that started it all. For about 8 years, Captain Twiggy was our lone Halloween decoration because Husband and I were performing at the Ohio Renaissance Festival every weekend in October and honestly between the weekend acting job and our weekday professional jobs, a pirate skeleton on the door was about as much holiday décor that we could handle at the time. Now Captain Twiggy hangs out in our sea dog cemetery drinking his favorite brew – Rogue’s Dead Guy Ale.

Sadly, Captain Twiggy’s a lush. As you can see, he’s been hanging out alone in the graveyard for a little too long because there’s quite the pile of empty wine bottles by his side. I can’t help but think that if Captain Twiggy didn’t spend all of his time chugging grog in a graveyard that he’d still have a little more meat on his bones and be a little more lively.

Later we got Captain Twiggy a drinking buddy in the form of a gianormous pirate rat.

Gianormous Pirate Rat doesn’t have a name but he certainly has a flair for accessorizing. Just look at the piratical earring! From the look on his face, he also as a flair for giving attitude. Perhaps Gianormous Pirate Rat is a little ticked that Captain Twiggy isn’t sharing his yo ho ho bottles of rum. That would make anyone cross. Especially if you’re a rat.

To make sure that all of my neighbors know that our cemetery isn’t just some ordinary run of the mill Halloween cemetery but a cemetery full of pirates, I made the Sea Dog Cemetery sign by roughing up the paint and removing the cheesey saying from a cheap dollar store Halloween sign with a palm sander. Then I painted “Sea Dog Cemetery” on it with white craft paint, and propped up it on rocks in the flowerbed.

If you were a fan of the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer you’ll recognize the saying on this grave marker from Season 5. It reads “Buffy Ann Summers 1981 – 2001 Beloved Sister Devoted Friend She Saved the World a Lot.” (This isn’t a series end spoiler kids. There is a Season 6 of the show. That means Buffy gets... um, better.)

I made Buffy's grave marker by painting over yet another cheap and cheesy metal sign with leftover silver spray paint. I created the sign in Photoshop with a font that was inspired by (but not quite copyright infringement) the Buffy the Vampire Slayer logo font. I didn’t design the font. I downloaded it from a free font Website that I don't have the link for anymore. I crumbled the paper and smoothed it out before tea dying it by rubbing a used wet tea bag over the paper. The tea dye made the wrinkles in the paper dye darker and makes my white computer paper look a little more like parchment. After the paper dried I decoupaged it to the metal sign. The decoupage also helps protect the paper from the elements.

Unfortunately, at the time I didn’t have a clue as to how to make grave markers to fill up our goofy pirate cometary so we bought them at a Halloween store. (There are a lot more headstones with goofy sayings in our yard than pictured in this post.) Husband and I plan to reuse the store bought headstones until they fall apart. Or until the neighbor kids steal them. Whichever comes first.

However, when they wear out (or disapperate) I’ll use Cathy Filian’s easy tutorial on how to make gravestones. You can bet that I’ll be adding a “Here lies Fred. Bumped his head and now he’s dead” epitaph to any new tombstone that I make for the yard. I like my gravestones funny, not creepy.

And what would a Halloween cemetery be without a Raven to watch over it all? Now you may think that we’d be cliché and name our Raven “Edgar”, “Poe”, or possibly “Nevermore”. Nope. Not us. Husband christened our Raven Poeboy.

Like the sandwich.

No matter which holiday you celebrate – be it Halloween, Celtic New Year, Samhain, Guy Fawkes Day, or the Day of the Dead I wish you, my fabulous readers, a very happy one!

Halloween Porch Décor: Make a Witches Parking Sign

Made this Witches Parking sign out of an old decorative sign I picked up at Old Time Pottery. I liked the painted border of the original sign but I didn’t like the saying. So I painted the center with black craft paint. After the paint was dry, I painted my own saying, “Witches Parking Only: All Others Will Be Toad” in the center of the sign with white craft paint.

I hung it on my porch next to a bamboo-handled broom. I tied the broom to the sign with raffia so it wouldn’t be tempted to fly away with any mischievous goblins or ghouls on Beggars Night.

This post is part of Wordless Wednesday but in my case, it’s not very wordless.

Home Utility Reduction Challenge Summer Tips and Updates

My goal is to reduce my home’s natural gas and electricity use by 20% this year. I also want to reduce my utilities as inexpensively as possible. In other words, I don’t want to replace every major appliance I own or install expensive alternative energy generators. Let’s see how I did this June, July, August, and September.

Natural Gas Usage for Summer
The Condo uses natural gas for heating, hot water, and a natural gas burning fireplace. We didn’t use the heater or the fireplace this summer so it’s no surprise that our natural gas usage is very low in summer. I expected our numbers to be pretty much the same this year as they were last summer. We used three more CCF of natural gas in June 2008 than we did in June 2007. However, that’s so minor that I’m going to beat myself up about it. Especially since overall, we used less natural gas this summer than last summer.

How Did We Save On Natural Gas in Summer?
I can only think of three minor changes to what we did this summer than last summer that helped us save on natural gas.

• I insulated the hot water heater in winter 2008.



• We don’t take super hot showers in summer as we do during the cold winter months.



• I turned off the pilot light to the gas-burning fireplace for summer.

Electrical Usage for Summer
For summer our homes electricity use is usually at its highest because we have an all electric kitchen and central air conditioning. Central Ohio gets very hot and humid during the summer. It aggravates my seasonal allergies and I just plain get cranky if I have to live in a perpetual sweat lodge. Blitzkrieg isn’t very happy in the sweltering summer heat either. He’s a Pekingese - a bradycephalic (smash faced) breed. That and his double coat mean that Blitzkrieg is more susceptible to the summer heat and developing heat stroke. Since I had the misfortune of experiencing a severe case of heat stroke, I know what it’s like. I certainly wouldn’t wish that on anyone let alone the most beloved member of the family. That’s why I did the happy dance when we decided to buy a home that had central air conditioning.

That is until I saw how much electricity, the air conditioning sucked up during the summer – ouch!

Therefore, we try to balance our use of the air conditioner verses the health, safety, and comfort of The Condo’s occupants.






This summer’s electrical usage was less than last year. I attribute a lot of this to having a cooler than usual summer. We didn’t have to run the central air conditioning as often as we did last year to keep everyone comfortable. One thing I did use more often is the electric clothes dryer. Since we’re a bunch of seasonal allergy suffers (even Blitzkrieg,) hanging our clothes to dry and having potential pollen stuck all over them makes matters worse for us. Of course, your mileage may vary.

How Did We Save Electricity in Summer?
I can only think of three minor changes to what we did this summer than last summer that helped us save on electricity.

• The cooler summer allowed us to get away with cooling the downstairs by generating a cross breeze by opening the downstairs windows and sliding glass door.



• We try not to run the air conditioning until it reaches 85 degrees outside/we experience high humidity, which is usually around mid July through September in Central Ohio. When we do run the air conditioning, we try to keep the temperature set to 74 degrees (F.)



• To help keep the upstairs level cool, we used a fan in our computer room (because of the extra heat generated by our computers when they are in use) and moved it to our bedroom at night to help circulate the air even when the AC is on. I realized that I could install ceiling fans to do this job, but honestly, I haven’t found any that I like.



• I keep the curtains closed on the South facing windows of The Condo during winter to keep the sun from heating up the upstairs bedroom and the kitchen. For winter, I will reverse this and use the sunlight to help warm these rooms during the day using free passive solar heat.



• I installed solar shades on the north facing windows of The Condo, which allowed sunlight into the rooms during the day but also kept the UV light (and heat) out. I bought and installed Imperial Solar Roller shades because they were less expensive than the other solar roller shades I looked at but they didn’t look cheap. Besides, I didn’t think that I’d really need the UV blocking properties of the window shades because most of the sunlight that hits and warms up The Condo in summer comes from the South (aka my backyard.) I just liked these shades for their industrial style and wanted to keep my neighbors from peeping into my windows. Well I was wrong. I was surprised to find that the Imperial Solar Roller Shades I bought helped keep the front rooms in The Condo a little cooler. So in that regard I’m glad that they do what the more expensive solar shades I looked at are supposed to do. The solar shades also allow enough daylight to come through the windows that I don’t need to turn on any lights in The Condo during the day. A definite bonus.

That’s how I cut my utility bills this summer. How did you do? More importantly, how did you do it?

Condo Blues Projects are Featured on Apartment Therapy!

Apartment Therapy is one of my favorite decorating and design blogs. It's been a dream of mine to be featured along side what I think is the coolest, hippiest, and cleverest (Cleverest? I think I just made up a new word.) interior design ideas around. This week I got my wish because Apartment Therapy's green design page re-nest is featuring not just one, but two of my projects this week as part of their Creative Reuse 2008 series. Today re-nest is featuring the chandelier I made out of old wine, water, and sherry glasses.

But that's not all! Tuesday they featured Blitzkrieg's raised dog feeder that I made from a shadowbox picture frame and napkin rings.

Apartment Therapy said:

"This is definitely one we never would've thought of: Lisa has turned a picture
frame and some napkin rings into a raised dog feeder."

I'm so happy I could burst!

How to Make Fake Horror Movie Vampire Blood

If you’re dressing up as a vampire for Halloween, chances are you will want to sport some fake blood dribbling from those vampire fangs or all over you if you’re occupying your favorite horror movie monster to a Halloween party as their favorite tasty snack latest victim. In that case, you’ll need some fake blood. It’s easy to make, in fact, this is the same recipe that they use to make fake blood for movies and for television shows.

Ingredients:

Light corn syrup (this is not the same thing as high fructose corn syrup)
Red food coloring
Dish soap

Make it:

Mix the red food coloring thoroughly into the light corn syrup and add a small slosh of dish soap. The dish soap makes for easier post party cleanup and keeps the food coloring from staining your clothes and/or skin.

Smear the fake blood when and where as needed. Be warned it’s sticky and feels a little bit weird on your skin at first but you’ll get used to it after a while.

If you’re going to use the fake blood around your mouth for example to make a little dribble down your face from your fake vampire fangs then don’t put the dish detergent in the blood or you might get soap in your mouth. That doesn’t taste very good. Guess how I found that one out?

Decorating with Eyeball Candles

Normal people put taper candles into candlesticks on their dining room tables. I decided to sidestep that tradition after finding some old decorative candles in the bottom of a box of Halloween decorations.

I didn’t like the lonely look in their eyes. I added a coven of friendly witches to keep them company.

For a while, I wanted to slap myself because I hadn’t burned these candles under the old granny guise of “these candles are too cute to burn”. I’m much too young to be thinking like an old granny! However, now that I know these candles are made from paraffin wax, I won’t be burning them any time too soon but for a much different reason.

Good thing they’re cute, these candles are sticking around while!

This post is part of Wordless Wednesday but in my case, it’s not very wordless.

Budget Friendly Cleaners: Make Your Own Green Scrubbing Bubbles!

I mentioned before that I was skeptical about cleaning with vinegar, which is supposed to be a natural disinfectant. However, after Blitzkrieg entered my life I had to find a pet friendly floor-cleaning alternative. I was very surprised to find that a combination of vinegar, water, and a sploosh of dish soap did the job very nicely.

And it was butt cheap too - bonus!

After that, I tried a few more cleaning with vinegar experiments. I made my own green version of scrubbing bubbles to clean some baked on crud under my stovetop. I sprinkled the crud with baking powder, then a bit of vinegar and let the foaming begin. After the foaming stopped, I easily wiped up the mess. This method worked much better than any other cleaner & loads of elbow grease I tried (and failed) on the job earlier that day.

“Hi, my name’s Lisa and I was a skeptic. Now I like to clean my Condo with foaming baking soda and vinegar volcanoes.”

“Hi Lisa!” you say.

I also found that my green version of scrubbing bubble cleaner did a great job of cleaning my bathroom. It fizzed up just like the commercial foaming toilet cleaner I used and cleaned the toilet just as well. However, unlike the commercial foaming cleanser, it didn’t leave that heavy cleaner perfume smell hanging in the air hours after I cleaned the bathroom. I didn’t mind this so much when it was just me hanging around the house but if I used it in anticipation of people coming over to visit, well, from the faces of my guests; I could tell that they could smell it hanging in the unintentionally heavily perfumed air too.

Ew.

That’s why I started to look for a bathroom cleaning alternative.

After that, I tried cleaning the rest of the bathroom with vinegar and the results are pretty good. I keep a spray bottle of a mixture of half vinegar and half water under the bathroom sink and use it to clean the mirrors and counter tops. If I need a little extra bit of scouring oomph I sprinkle a bit of baking soda in the sink spray it with the vinegar/water mix (since it’s watered down, the vinegar doesn’t bubble much) and wipe it up with a rag. Before you ask, no my bathroom didn’t smell like pickles for very long. In fact, the vinegar smell dissipated from the air much more quickly than the traditional scrubbing bubbly commercial cleaner I used to use.

Now out of all the cleaning jobs around The Condo, I absolutely hate cleaning the shower and bathtub because I can’t find anything that easily cuts through the soap scum of the bathtub ring.

I made the bathtub ring cleaning issue a little easier by switching from using bar soap to liquid soap in the shower and bath. I got this tip from a bath person at a home show – apparently bar soaps leave a thicker ring on the tub and shower than bar soaps. I had nothing else to lose, so I tried it. Switching to liquid soap made cleaning the bathtub ring easier. I noticed that the liquid soap was much kinder to our skin, which tends to dry out more during the winter. I also realized that I didn’t have a bunch of waxy bar soap wrappers clogging up my trash can. In my city, I can’t recycle those, but I can recycle the plastic bottles that the liquid soap and shampoo came in. Sold.

So now I’m able to get most of the shower clean expect the sliding glass shower door. In the meantime, I’ve found that an eraser sponge does the trick but I suspect that it’s not very environmentally friendly. However, my research doesn’t confirm or deny that. So if you know of any other options to cut through the yuck that builds up on my shower door, I’m all ears.

I'm All a Twitter!

You think my adventures in living with big green style on a little budget are funny in my weekly posts?

Come on, I know you do.

Well now you laugh at me day to day by following me on Twitter. I guess that makes it official. I'm a Twit. Follow me, won't you?

Turn a Fall Scarecrow into a Summer Lawn Flamingo Cozy

As I was sorting and reorganizing my craft stash, I came across an untouched quilted door panel. Definitely a UFP (unfinished project.) Originally, I was going to make it for someone as a gift but never got around to it. Therefore, it sat in my stash for several years while I took a sewing hiatus. Now, I’m back and my goal is to use as much stuff from my stash as possible. After some rooting around I realized that I already had the materials to put this guy together.

I’m not a quilter, but this product was easy to do. I cut along the dotted lines of the printed craft panel to cut out Mr. Scarecrow and his parts. Then I used the fabric cutouts as patterns to cut out a layer of batting and the plain backing fabric. Here I had to get a little creative with the layout because I didn’t have much in the way of batting and I didn’t want to go to the store and buy more. In a pinch, I used felt for the batting layer for the hands. That’s OK, because I needed to put those too-big-to-throw-away-but-not-big-enough-to-do-much-of- anything-with scraps of felt to good use.

I layered and pinned the pieces together and top stitched them together. For added interest I sewed along the printed lines/and details of the hat, shirt fabric, etc. (This, fellow nonquilters, is the official "quilting" part of making a quilt. I didn't know that either until I Googled it.) because bored and wanted to see if quilting some of the panel' s details would make any difference in it's look or not. Fortunately, my Grandmother’s button box and my gift-wrapping supplied the finishing touches of buttons and raffia sewed to the shirt to simulate straw.

Now this panel is defiantly two-dimensional. He’s supposed to hang on a door but I already have a fall door wreath that I like and don't want to swap out. What to do? Well, I made my scarecrow door hanger into a standing scarecrow decoration.

I grabbed some fallen sticks (thanks Hurricane Ike!) and sewed them to the back of the scarecrow to make sure he didn’t flop in the breeze as he did last year. Nobody likes a droopy scarecrow. Well, unless you’re Ray Bolger in The Wizard of Oz. That man’s scarecrow dance was genius.

I made my 2D scarecrow panel stand to attention by lashing him to a mental front porch flamingo with leftover bread ties and computer cable ties. Instant flamingo cozy!

Yes, he’s a little trite, but I like him better than the store bought scarecrows that are popping up in my neighbors’ yards. The best part of this project? The cost - zero dollars. Beat that Mastercard!


This post is part of Thrifty Green Thursday.

Bruce Campbell Pumpkin Meet the Mac-O-Lantern

My brother-in-law likes, nay, is obsessed with horror movies and Halloween. In fact, most of the décor in my Evil Dead laundry room came courtesy of holiday gifts from him. I think most of these items where gifted to us under the my-wife-put-a-moratorium-on-me-buying-new-horror-movie-stuff-for-my-man-cave-so-I’m-buying-this-for-you-because-I-think-it’s-cool- and-I-know-you-like-Bruce-Campbell-movies clause of their marriage contract.

That’s why my laundry room looks like a dorm room.

BIL has a friendly competition with his neighbor on who carves the best pumpkin each Halloween. Both guys bought pumpkin carving kits at the store. After using the store bought templates, they both quickly ditched that idea the following year and have been doing their own thing every since.

As an homage to my Evil Dead laundry room, my brother in law carved this pumpkin for Halloween. Bruce Campbell as Ash in the movie The Evil Dead. On the other hand, it could be Ash in Evil Dead 2. Or possibly Ash in Army of Darkness? Anyway, here is his masterpiece.

Now I cannot compete with this. Nor would I want to because I’m not really a blood and guts horror movie type of fan. If I have to watch that kind of movie, it’s more of a funny scary one like Scary Movie than a gory scary film like Friday the 13th: We're Still Milking This Franchise Way After it Jumped the Shark. Chances are I’m still watching the movie from behind the sofa.

So what could a fun loving, computer-minded person like me do to compete with this jack 0-lantern for Halloween? Well, if you’re Fusebox at Instructables, you will make a genius Mac-O-Lantern out of an old Macintosh computer!

- More cool how to projects


The next big question is where can I find an antique Macintosh that still works?

Side Note: I can't belive I just used the words "antique" and "Macintosh" in the same sentence.

Looking for Products or Services to Review

I like to do product reviews on my blogs. I need your help finding them. Would you like me to review your product or service? Maybe your Etsy store? On the other hand, have you ever wondered about a product or service and want me to check it out for you?

My Condo Blues readers are a varied group. They are interested in products or services that include but are not limited to:

• Crafts
• Dogs/pets
• Home decorating
• Home improvement
• DIY
• Green and Sustainable living

If you'd like to sponsor a contest that would be an added bonus, but it is not required.

I am also the Green contributor for the Capessa network. The readers of my Capessa blog Sustainable Style are interested in all things related to green and sustainable living, including environmentally friendly clothing and health and beauty products.

Please email me at condoblues [at] gmail [dot] com for details.

In Other Blog Buisness...

Check out my latestet post on my Capessa blog Sustainable Style about greening your pet by adopting an animal from an animal rescue organization. It's the perfect way to celebrate National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month!

Help Me Pick a Halloween Costume!

Halloween costumes
oh what shall I be for party
it must be scary

I love dressing up for Halloween. It's the one time of year that I can please my inner child and play dress up. Because if you're an adult and if you don't have a kid, playing dress up at any other time of the year could be all shades of creepy, scary, fetishy or all three (your choice - you pick!)

Husband and I are going to a Halloween party. The theme is Scary. After rooting around what costume pieces we had around the house (not only a budget conscious costume but environmentally friendly too), I put together three options. I'm not sure which one I should do. Will you help me decide?

Option 1: Witch

These costume pieces have evolved into what you see now. Originally I bought the vest at Rag O Rama (hands down the best thrift store in the city!) and wore it with black boots and leggings for a couple of sword fighting shows. Later I needed an Elizabethan gown to do a hand to hand stage combat show and made the black skirt. A few years later I developed an on-line training course and needed a photo of an 1898 woman. I added sleeves to the vest and a walking bustle to the skirt. Then after seeing Wicked and channeling the latest Harry Potter film I added the conical hat. It’s not as good as Professor McGonagall’s (oh how I love the hats they built for the character in the Harry Potter movies!) but I didn't have to time to beef up the store bought hat with feathers et al. at the time) and was a witch. I use the broom as a decoration on my front porch. I like the texture of the bamboo handle and that it's beat up a bit. Like it's defied gravity and flown many, many miles into the night.

Come to think of it, if I make a few slight modifications to my witch costume, I could trick it out as Steampunk.

Option 2: An Apple with a Razor Blade in It

I made this costume for Husband a zillion years ago for a Halloween party (not the same hosts as this year) at his request. The theme of that party was Halloween. Not very original as themes go, so Husband decided to go as something that every person fears on Halloween other than zombies coming to life and eating your brain.

It was a hit becuase the attendees that party have a twisted sense of humor too.

I think this one is scary in a twisted kind of way however someone might find it offensive. I don't want to do that especially since this party is going to be full of Husband's co-workers. All of them have good senses of humor but you never know.

Option 3: Mommie Dearest

"Oh no, you wouldn't!" you say.

Oh yes, I might.

I've had this idea tucked into the back of my mind for quite awhile and haven't had an occasion to use it. I'm leaning towards this one because it's a new costume idea. And what I ask you what was scarier than the "NO WIRE HANGERS" scene in the movie Mommie Dearest?

Honestly this has to be the most comfortable costume around because I'd be wearing a bathrobe, nightgown, and turban - no need to do my hair! And with my amazing eBay find wrapped around my shoulders my inner diva would be happy.

And as my gays are ready to point out - a happy diva makes a darn fine sour apple martini. I'm just sayin'...

Which of these costumes do you think I should use for the Halloween party? Or do you have another suggestion for me?

Upadated 10/31/08: Thank you to everyone who suggested what I should be for Halloween! Your suggestions (and my loyalities) made me decide to dress up as the Witch tonight when we hand out candy for Begger's Nights. After Trick or Treat is over, I'm going to change into the Mommie Dearest costume and wear that to the Halloween party.

EcoSMART Contest Winner

We have a winner in my EcsoSMART Natural Insect Repellent Contest. Congratulations goes to....

Rita T!

Thanks to everyone who entered the contest. This contest is the first of many more to come.

Replace a Photo Wall with a Photo Mobile

I love photography, mostly architecture. It’s funny because most of my family and friends have some of photos displayed in their home. Everyone except me that is. I just haven’t gotten around to selecting and hanging a bunch of vacation photos as art in The Condo. One issue is time, and the more import issue is that I don’t have a bunch of coordinating photo frames. Well after looking around for some unique gift ideas for Christmas (yes, I'm one of those, I shop all year round) at Kir Devries I think I may have found an answer to my dilemma the Flensted Postcard Mobile.

They say that it’s designed to hold postcards, but I’m sure that it will work with photos as well. I plan on loading it with black and white photos and hanging it in a corner of my living room. I like that it’s a mobile because decorating my living room is still a work in progress. I don’t want to have to patch and paint over a bunch of nail holes if/when I eventually decide that I can’t live with my current living room chairs and replace them or rearrange the furniture and photos on the walls for the umpteenth time. What do you think?

Kitchen Décor That Only Norman Bates Could Love

Bad Idea Bears visit
while I drool at décor ideas
Look! Norman Bates’ house

I’m absent-mindedly looking around online for items that I could use to decorate The Condo for Halloween. And wouldn’t you know it, the Bad Idea Bears showed up and tried to convince me to buy a bunch of weird stuff and redecorate.

Bad Idea Bears: These items all go together; you could use them all to decorate your kitchen! Don’t pay attention to what Kenneth Brown says in his TV show Over Designed. Theme kitchens are very in this year.

Me: Well yeah, if you’re some homicidal nutcase like Serial Mom or Norman Bates from the movie Psycho! No. I’m not doing a CSI kitchen theme in the Condo.

Bad Idea Bears: (Batting their eyelashes and looking excessively cute) Pleeeeeese!

Me: Weeeell. I suppose I could blog about it. I haven’t done a design-centered post in awhile. It’s October and time to plan for Halloween. And I am feeling kinda cheeky…

Bad Idea Bears: Yaaaaaay!

So let’s take a look at how Norman Bates may decorate his kitchen if we wanted to proudly proclaim to the world that he is in fact, a psycho nut job. (And before you ask, no. I don’t seriously recommend decorating a house in this theme. I’m just trying to appease the Bad Idea Bears and my Inner Brat after having a not so great week.)

Let’s have some fun, shall we?

Scene: Day

Setting: The kitchen of the Psycho house on the Universal Studios lot. Where else?


(Norman Bates walks into the back door of his house and into the kitchen after a hard day of work at the Bates hotel. Norman fumbles in the dark for the Hanging Harry Light Pull and turns on the overhead kitchen light.)

(Then Norman puts on a manly black chef’s apron and begins to prepare a sumptuous meal for his mother.)

He decides to make stir fry. That involves chopping a lot of vegetables. Fortunately, for Norman he has a fondness for kitchen knives and the Ex Knife Holder.

In fact, Norman likes to chop things up so much that keeps around two sets of knives in his kitchen! When a situation demands a good hack, slash, or chop, he knows he can count on the knives in his Throwzini knife holder.

Norman thinks Mother may be a little peckish after sitting in the basement all day. He decides to make her some hors d'oeuvres and looks for the Pound party picks.

Norman: Oh goodness! The party picks are in the dishwasher. I can’t use dirty party picks. Mother would not approve. I suppose I’ll serve her a plate of cheese cubes instead. Now, where did I put the OUCH! Voodoo doll toothpick holder? Oh there it is!

SFX: the telephone rings. (Norman puts his cup of tea (hemlock, perhaps?) on a Splat Stan Coaster. He answers the telephone.)

(Norman grabs a pen from his Dead Fred Penholder, writes something on a piece of paper, and hangs up the telephone.)

Norman: (calling to his Mother off screen) Mother! I have to go. Janet Leigh is going to check into the hotel tonight. After I deal with her, we’ll set down to a nice dinner and watch a nice wholesome family movie like Grindhouse, OK?

End of Scene

Welcome to the inner workings of my mind. For the record, no amount of prescription medication or therapy makes the Bad Idea Bears go away. Sometimes you just gotta roll with it. That’s a fact.

Save Some Bucks – How to Seal Heating Ducts!

I am on a mission to seek out and destroy air leaks in The Condo so I can save money on my heating and cooling bills this year. According to energystar.gov it will be worth my while to do it too:

“EPA estimates that homeowners can typically save up to 20% of heating and cooling costs (or up to 10% of total energy costs) by air sealing their homes
and adding insulation in attics, floors over crawl spaces, and accessible basement rim joists.”

One place to look for air leaks is in the heating and air-conditioning (also known as HVAC) ducts in your home (or Condo.) Air leaks make your HVAC system use more fuel and work harder to do the job it’s supposed to do. And that can cost you money. Especially if those air leaks are in the unheated/uncooled areas of your home such as a basement, or in my case, in an unheated utility room.

There are generally two places where air leaks occur and that you need to seal:

• The area where two pieces of air duct are connected together
• The area in the wall where the ductwork meets/goes into the wall

This is a very cheap and easy project that even a novice handy gal (or guy) can do. If you can cut and stick a piece of tape and squirt a can of shaving cream, then you are more than qualified to do this project.

How to Seal Connections in HVAC Ducts the Easy Way

Materials
Roll of metal/aluminum tape (also called Sheating tape)
Scissors
A ladder (optional)

Do It
Most the leaks in air ducts will occur where two pieces of the air duct are joined together. The quickest and easiest way to ensure that air isn’t leaking from the joint is to cut a long piece of metal tape, climb a ladder (if need be), and wrap the tape around the area where two pieces of ductwork meet. Smooth down the edges of the tape around the duct joint, and ta da! You’ve just sealed an air leak in an air duct connection!

Traditional duct tape has a thousand and one uses; unfortunately sealing ducts isn’t one of them. Cloth or plastic duct tape will loosen over time and you’ll have to keep retaping your ducts. Save yourself some trouble, spend a little extra money (I think it cost me only a couple of dollars more to buy metal tape than it would to buy regular duct tape) and buy the metal tape.


Mind the Gap: How to Seal Gaps between HVAC Ducts and Walls the Easy Way

Materials
Can of expanding spray foam insulation (for large gaps) or tube of caulk (for small gaps)
A ladder (optional)

Do It
If there is a gap between where your air duct meets the wall, climb a ladder (if need be), put the tip of can of the spray foam/caulk gun into the crack, pull the trigger to fill the gap with spray foam or caulk. Ta Da - you’ve just sealed a leak in an air duct!

Make sure you use spray foam in a well-ventilated place, otherwise, it may be best to use caulk for this project. After 24 hours, the spray foam will be hard enough for you to trim with a saw like in the video. I didn’t bother with that since I was sealing ducts in my utility room and no one but me, Husband, and possibly Blitzkrieg would see it.

Depending upon the brand and amount of spray foam that you use, this project can get a little messy. I recommend wearing old clothes and a pair of gloves. I didn’t wear gloves the last time I used spray foam and spent a week trying to wash dried spray foam off my hands with all sorts of soap, water, and ended up scrubbing it off my hands with a pumice stone. Did I mention that I had to scrub my hands raw in order to get the stuff off my hands? Ow. I would have saved myself a lot of trouble if I donned a pair of gardening gloves before I started my project.

Summer or early fall is the perfect time to seal your heating and cooling ductwork if not for one simple reason: You won’t singe your fingers on the outside of the heating ducts because the furnace is off and the outside of the heating and air conditioning air ducts are cool to the touch.

Trust me on this one. I know of where I speak.


This post is part of Thrifty Green Thursday.